Hair dwyer

I took Max to have his hair cut today. It was his second ever visit to the barber and he was very good and stayed nice and still for the young chap who serviced his mop (it was very long hair). He did take more off than I'd asked for though. I think cutters get carried away and keep trying to "even it up" which just means it ends up shorter than expected. Max looks nice though. I'm fascinated by how professional hair people know what to do. I imagine that there are some simple rules that have been worked out over time, which, if stuck to or varied slightly, will result in the desired finish. I also think this must be combined with dexterous, learned skill. This is why when I try to cut hair it seems like the hardest thing in the world.

Most of this which follows applies to men as I don't really know what happens in a female haircutters (except that they spend a lot of time and money on something which usually looks as good as it did before they had it serviced). There always seems to be a slight uncertainty about how far you should push the cutter. For example let's say that your hair has been cut and the cutter offers you the mirror behind your head and waves it about too quickly to see the back of your head (as they do). Some people will say "yeah thanks, that's great" even though they hate the way it looks. It's a sort of embarrassment thing. Other people would criticise the way it looks (but I'm sure they are in the minority or perhaps are spending a lot of money on the cut (>£30)). I reckon the majority of people will always say it's fine and pay and walk out only to look at themselves in the shop window reflections whilst brushing their ears with tissue paper, wondering whether it's "what they asked for".

Of course there's the "just walked out of the salon" look which explains somewhat why people don't question the final cut in the shop. They wait until they get home, wash the hair, dry it and then see what it looks like. It always looks different (unless you have some sort of style - dyed, greased or permed etc).

My visits to the hairdresser are very infrequent, but I certainly experience this phenomenon of uncertainty when it's all over. Apart from the obvious unease at being trapped in a chair and dreading getting into a conversation with someone you less than hardly know, about holidays or football etc, there is this extra confusion about the quality of service. Uusually try to get the look I ask for and if that means asking them to keep chopping then I will say so. Sometimes, however, I just want to get out of there knowing that when I get home it will look OK and my only criterion for success is that it doesn't look stupid (even that wouldn't bother me: I have very low standards).

This whole subject sounds like the foil for a standup comic or sketch show (I know Monty Python did some hilarious work on this topic).